Sunday, 30 August 2015

dragon story kelsey

It all started Monday when I was walking to school. I went to hang my bag up on my shiny hook. I stared outside into the wet rain but then there was a scrunching  noise coming from the trees there was nothing I still was staring outside. 

HELP! It was there cry of a human being then a tree was on fire and another and another it was soon a bush fire I went outside to see the blazing fire. Oh my I said this is a really really bad  plane crash what in the world brought down the plane a wired thing flew up in the air. It breathed out hot red fire over the grass I yelled was it a dragon?


1 comment:

  1. Wow Kelsey, there is lots of writing before we even hear about the dragon. You tried hard to build up the fear and draw us into the story.

    Read those sentences out loud. Many of them would be better and build tension by using simple sentences.

    Team Judge


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